ElikaFM

Very much just another blog

A commuters guide to not being a tosser

with one comment

Every few days I use Twitter to vent my angry commuting inner bitch upon innocent followers. I can’t help it. It just pours out. All my anger, all my fury. I suggested community workshops once: how to form an orderly queue, how to get up for a pregnant woman, how not to stop and stand randomly at the bottom of escalators, how not to be a TOTAL AND UTTER TOSSER IN EVERY WAY EVER…

A Mr Ben Barden wrote and directed me to a perfectly charming and sensible post he had penned in response to everyone’s commuting frustrations. You can have a read here: benbarden.com I applaud Ben’s calm and rational approach to commuting. I am impressed by his sensible remarks which, if followed, would indeed improve the commute for everyone. Sadly, though, my soul remains a dark place of terror as I hop off my south eastern train and skip (aha!) through the Vaults at London Bridge towards the Jubilee line. Now I can’t profess to knowing very much about anything, but even *I* am amazed by the mindboggling cretinous stupidity of people from time to time. By time to time I mean in the rush hour, and by people I mean the following in particular:

Anyone, ANYONE who thinks it’s a good idea to pull a suitcase with wheels anywhere on the underground during said hour of speed.

People who get through the ticket barrier and then stop immediately to ‘sort themselves out’. Twats.

People who choose to walk on the left but do so slowly; walking on the left is a commitment, people. Go for it by all means but give it some welly or stick to the right. I have fantasised about pushing many a plodder down the moving stairs. I’ll do it one day. You wait, or rather, you walk faster.

People who take a step onto the tube and then stop, looking left and right to see which will be the nicest space for them. Sweetheart, you can be wedged into that man’s armpit or flat against that woman’s Jilly Cooper. None of us care, just do it quickly.

People who smell. Stop it.

People who don’t get up for pregnant or elderly people. There is never, ever a reason for being that much of a bastard. And pretending you can’t see really increases how much of an arsehole everyone around you thinks you are. Get up, offer you seat. If you do it with grace, you might even feel good about yourself. And well you should.

And there you have it. There’ll be more of this I’m sure but my soul is about to make a bid for freedom to find some kinder home. Take care on your way home people, you know what to do.

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Written by elikafm

November 17, 2009 at 12:29 pm

One Response

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  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Elika, Britten Sinfonia. Britten Sinfonia said: @Elika – everyone here in the office likes your commuting blog – http://bit.ly/eHK57 […]


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