Very much just another blog

The virtues of Vaseline

with 3 comments

This weekend, at a family birthday extraveganza, my sister gave me some skincare advice. I wasn’t *asking* for it, she felt simply that it was something I needed. Bitch.

Oh… *heavy sigh*… maybe she was right. Friends, today I thought I would share her wisdom with you, and her wisdom was this: Vaseline. Simple Vaseline. You put apply it librally on your smiling lines and furrowed brow each night and then, two weeks, later you wake up looking like a teenager. FACT.

I had, at the beginning of the conversation, considered telling her to fuck off but, before her sentence was over, I was on my way to Boots to buy a year’s supply. Not that I’m dramatic in any way.

Since the weekend I’ve tried the routine twice  and found the sensation to be a bit freaking weird; you may find, as I did, that ALL the bed clothes stick to your face within a very short space of sleeping time. That’s odd, and not the nicest thing to wake up to. Plus, importantly, I still look EXACTLY the same, which is disappointing considering how sticky my nights have been. I’ll keep doing it, but. I’m a slave to this kind of bullshit. And I’ll let you know in two weeks whether I’ve halted the aging process in any meaningful way.

Oh and, to continue a theme, and because there’s time to kill, remember this?


Written by elikafm

November 17, 2009 at 10:25 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged with , ,

3 Responses

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  1. You are hilarious, in a sticky-faced, wrinkle-free way. And thank you for the Elastica video. It’s been too long.

    Adland Suit

    November 17, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    • Indeed it has. Now I’m scanning through old songs. I’m stuck on Blondie. I kind of wish I WAS Blondie.


      November 17, 2009 at 4:51 pm

      • I kind of wish you were Blondie too.

        Can I be Adam Ant?

        Adland Suit

        November 17, 2009 at 10:16 pm

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