ElikaFM

Very much just another blog

Keeping things in perspective

with 5 comments

Perspective is not something a person is born with, though God only knows I wish I had been.

When you’re a baby you can’t see let along gauge whether something is near, far, innocuous, dangerous, important or run of the mill. You are still discovering; shoving everything you can pick up directly into your mouth as part of your exploration through life. This is part of learning. And, while I try now not to chew the things I don’t understand, the learning process, at least for me, is on going.

I don’t for a minute think I’m alone in this. I can remember my mother telling me that you never really feel any different; she feels much the same as she did when she was eighteen. Frankly, that sounds a little delayed to me; I was a total spanner when I was eighteen and there has, I hope, been *some* development.

I’m meandering. Focus, Ms Kaye: Perspective. Perspective is something that doesn’t matter so much when you are very little because someone picks you up and carries you about and makes all your decisions for you. It’s only when you start to *feel*  and understand the meaning of things, only when you do begin to make choices and cogitate one thing from another, that perspective is activated and develops.

Or at least it fucking should have done.

For my part, I find it very hard to keep things in perspective, that is to say that I over think things, grind away at a tiny issue until I have built it into something several times its original scale. And then I use hyperbole to decorate the way I share it with people; to REALLY make them understand that this minuscule thing is of the highest import that they could ever, *EVER* imagine. And it’s an iterative process because after a while even I start to believe it. I can, I have discovered, convince myself of anything, certainly for an evening. Often in the morning it floats away. I can be a real treat. Really.

Anyway. The time has come to reassess; to put things neatly into order of scale and import. The time has come for perspective. I have decided that there’s very little point in jumping in at the deep end; it’ll only feel like the ocean and I’ll drown and probably die and everything will be a disaster. No. Instead I shall paddle in the shallows of perspective. One step at a time, people, one step at a time:

Hungry is not the same as starving

I have a small problem with body sugar, I think, in that when it runs out I become a gnashing beast from hell and perspective is something I have not even the lightest of grips on. I start to shake, I am unreasonable, snappy, and irritable. I start to think people have food, they are just keeping it from me. I say things like: I AM GOING TO DIE. I HATE EVERYTHING AND I HATE YOU (this is particularly bad if I am travelling solo on the tube). I will search my bag for my emergency snacks, realise that I ate them all and so yell at a pitch only canines can understand: ****************************************************************************************** (you can’t hear this, canines can but you can’t. Pay attention).

If I am with someone they might say something kind like: what would you like to eat? I will reply: FOOD! I WANT SOME FUCKING FOOD.

This, I’d venture, is unreasonable. This is as a situation in which I am without perspective. In the true light of day I know that there are people in the world who are *actually* starving: there are 23 MILLION people in East Africa currently without enough food or water. That’s starving. That’s perspective. Oh, and you can donate to Oxfam to support people in this crisis here.

Next.

My life is a good life

There is very little that could befall me that could mean I, in any way, know what it is to *really* face life’s challenges. I can count at least twenty entire countries that are having are properly shit time. I do not live in one of them. I don’t even live *near* one of them. This provides me with perspective and so, you’ll be delighted to know, when I had to overcome a recent life obstacle I examined the layer of cowcrap lightly covering my life, shrugged it off, put my shoulders back and got on with it. Yes. Respect.

Next.

I am not too old at 32

I am very scared about not having kids, as you know. I will listen when people tell me that having babies after 35 does not mean they will have two heads and a limp, and there is plenty of time before I need to worry about actually buying one.

I am not fat

Seriously. I’m not. I thought I was for most of my life but it’s not true so I’m going to lay my body dysmorphia here. See it? No. Because there’s not enough to actually merit the description ‘fat’.

Er. I think that’s it. Yes. That’s it. Perspective is good isn’t it.

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Written by elikafm

February 8, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

5 Responses

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  1. Yeah, always good to put try and put things in perspective. To remind oneself that stuff ain’t so bad. And to make a pact with yerself not to have regrets later in life.

    Don’t mean to say it comes easy. I reckon I’ve had to actively cultivate all manner of checks and balances in my head to more easily lend life some perspective, now and again.

    …However, even now, there’s certain things for which I haven’t found that manual over-ride button. Yet.

    But I try to keep that in perspective too!

    Ppparkaboy

    February 9, 2010 at 12:11 am

  2. I went to a sermon about perspective on Sunday. It wasn’t quite the same thing. But it did suggest that thinking about these questions never quite goes away.

    Rish

    February 9, 2010 at 9:46 am

  3. (Might also help if I shared details of said sermon, non? http://beingbeta.blogspot.com/2010/02/some-sunday-sermons.html)

    Rish

    February 9, 2010 at 9:47 am

    • Thank you Rish. There are things here for me to think on. x

      elikafm

      February 9, 2010 at 11:36 am

  4. I watched Synecdoche, New York earlier in the week… it’s a great study on the kind of perspective you’re speaking about

    David J Foster

    February 11, 2010 at 9:20 am


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