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There is a perfectly round bruise on the back of my right calf. It is, I think, from the heel of your hand. Do you remember? One of those times. White light. White night. One of those times. It’s yellow and blue, like a heavy set flower so close to blooming but staying, for now, tight in on itself, weighted in the middle.

It hurts, you know. It hurts and aches and I feel it harder every time the fabric of my trousers brushes across it. Every time it squeezes into the flesh of my calf I feel you and my throat tightens but I swallow everything back because it’s just a bruise, I say quietly, just a bruise that will fade and heal.

It never does go, though, does it. It stays there, never blooming and never leaving and always aching.

I am so lost without you.


Written by elikafm

June 10, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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