ElikaFM

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Undress redress undress

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Part one.

I pull off my sweater and my hair moves light in the static: lifts, falls chaotic. I slide my left toe under the edge of my right sock, bend and wiggle it off. Next the left.

I pull my fingers through my hair, twist it against the back of my head and secure it in place. I wipe over my eyes, cheeks, chin, throat removing make up, leaving my skin clean and damp. In the mirror I look back at myself, and then turn and walk bare-footed to the bedroom.

I watch your chest rise and fall in the low glow of the lamp and your hand has let go of your book, your index finger moving from the marked spot and the last words you read before sleep came. How loud your head has been. I swear I can hear it now, a dark growl underneath your skin, behind your eyes. Here you sleep finally, trapped in the sheets, between all the things you love and need and are. Here you sleep finally, leaving things and finding things, walking through your dreams. Your body is heavy from your journey, and aching at the prospect of further to go. But I have felt your body electric. I have seen your eyes turn green from blue and heard your laughter delirious and true. I have tasted your happiness, new, unexpected, rattling from inside you and finding a shape and the voice that has been quiet but has always been the essence of you.

I undress, leave my clothes where they fall. I slide against you, wrap my arms around your body, kiss your growling head. You move me in, half sleeping still you murmur: I was dreaming we were in some woods, it was dark and we were scared. I curl deeper over you and you say, with half of you still in the woods and the other touching every part of me: but we made it into a game and it stopped being frightening. We’re safe, I whisper into you. Safe. See?  You can sleep; I’ll come with you. And our skin is clammy as we move through dreaming and run through woods and then run faster and then out and then open and then breathing hard and we are OK. More: we are laughing, and we are elated and we are new.

Part two.

I pull off my sweater and my hair moves light in the static: lifts, falls chaotic. I slide my left toe under the edge of my right sock, bend and wiggle it off. Next the left.

I pull my fingers through my hair, twist it against the back of my head and secure it in place. I wipe over my eyes, cheeks, chin, throat removing make up, leaving my skin clean and damp. In the mirror I look back at myself, and then turn and walk bare-footed to the bedroom.

On the right side of the bed is the space where you slept, and at the tilt of the pillow and the folds of the unmade sheets, I can see the shape you made as you were dreaming. You are sleeping elsewhere. You are dreaming away from me and the happiness and the hurt I bring.

I undress, slide into the place that you had taken. Move my arm up and my leg back; it looks as though I am running. In this position I sleep; in this position I dream of you. As I wonder past trees and over shafts of light as they fall quiet through branches and leaves still clinging tight even as the breeze disturbs them, I can hear your voice: we’re safe, you whisper into me. Safe. See?  You can sleep; I’ll come with you. We walk, our fingers locked together; the moon is getting brighter and the trees are growing further apart. With each step we are lighter. As we pass through darkness our hands grip tighter, and as the wood begins to end, we are moving faster. I love you, we are shouting. I love you! And morning is coming and we are waking and we are beginning again.

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Written by elikafm

November 13, 2010 at 1:50 am

Posted in Uncategorized

One Response

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  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Elika, McMucca. McMucca said: Poignant RT @Elika: More bloggery. Undress redress undress: http://bit.ly/9xqf68 […]


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